Ex Pains

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn?t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children?s needs and Jim feels that she doesn?t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here?s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn?t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven?t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner?s concerns. Hold your partner?s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don?t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I?ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

How To Save A Relationship

Tips on how to save a relationship are all over the place online, but the problem is no one really gives you a clear path to take to get to the root of your problems and find workable solutions. When you know how to get your negotiations off on the right foot and where to go from there, though, you have a much better chance of making up with your sweetie.

Decide what you want!

Before you go trying to figure out how to save a relationship, you need to know exactly what it is about that relationship you don’t want to lose. Do you want more emotional or physical intimacy? Do you want to spend more time together doing activities you both enjoy? Do you just want to get back to the kind of respect and regard you had for each other when you first started going out?

Retrace your steps!

At one point you two were the perfect couple, right? You couldn’t wait to see each other, spent hours talking, and managed to solve any disagreements without growling at each other. Then something happened. To find out exactly what that “something” was, think back in time and see if you can pin point where things started going off track.

Ideally, you’ll want to sit down and talk this through together. To you it might seem like your partner started getting snippy out of the blue, but they might be perfectly clear on what started the conflict.

Be willing to compromise!

Any book on how to save a relationship will tell you to try to find some middle ground, but they don’t all bother to explain why; much less how. The thing is if you’re tired of arguing over the same issues over and over again, then something has to change.

To be fair, both of you are going to have to give a little. So sit down together, pick one problem, and come up with a potential solution that you’re both willing to try out for at least a few weeks. That said, everyone has certain ingrained personality traits and habits that just aren’t going to go away. That means at some point you’ll have to decide if those little things you find annoying about your partner are worth breaking up over or if you can just ignore them.

Spend quality time together!

A lot of times relationships fall apart just because the two people involved don’t pay enough attention to each other. You might not be able to take a week off and tour Paris, but at least try to set aside one evening a week for a date; whether it’s at a fancy restaurant or the local bowling alley. Whatever you do, make this time sacred: no talking about work pressures, money problems, or which of the kids is in trouble this week. Instead, use the time to talk about your thoughts, beliefs and dreams.

Collecting tips and tricks on how to save a relationship won’t do you much good unless you have a solid plan of attack. The step-by-step process here is just the beginning, though. If you really want know how to save a relationship, what you need is a proven plan designed by a professional.